I’ve come to realise that what is always being neglected is the appreciation of the effort.

If he went out of his way to try to get a bouquet of flowers for you, but failed to get one and ended up late for the date, would you still appreciate the effort he put in? Or would you be grumbling about how he was late?

If she, knowing you were falling ill, specially boiled a drink that would help to reduce the “heat” in your body, would you still drink it if it was something you dislike? Would you appreciate the thought and effort that she put into it? Or would you be grumbling about how she chose to boil a drink that you dislike?

Which would be your initial reaction?

Once bitten twice shy. But I knew that if I really wanted the relationship to work out, I had to learn to trust again. After a long and hard struggle, I finally did. Only to learn, at the end of everything, that I’ve been bitten again.

It hurt.

But I realised that there was no point letting the past upset me again. It had upset me enough for me to choose to let go of it. Why should I let it upset me now again? As someone very aptly put it, “there is no point getting sad over someone who makes you sad.”

I have since let go of it.

Thanks for the wonderful support I had.

As much as I was willing to fight for the relationship, it’s not possible to fight someone that isn’t even there to began with.

There were times, it seemed to me, I was sharing you with memories. Times when you were right there beside me but you had that distant look in your eyes. I always felt it in my heart but I didn’t show it. They say that time heals all wounds and so I naively thought that with time it would be alright – that you would realise it’s over.

But soon I realised that there was no room inside your life for me. And as much as I was willing to fight for the relationship, the battle was for you to fight. Not me.

That was when I knew that I had to have it all or nothing at all. I didn’t want to share you, or anyone else, with memories anymore.

I learnt a painful lesson. A lesson that will stick with me for life.

I’m learning to let go of all the scars from the past. To love freely and fearlessly.

A tall order for me. But I will still try.

my life 一直在等待
空荡的口袋
想在里面放一份爱
why 总是被打败
真的好无奈
其实我实实在在
不管帅不帅
想要找回来自己的节拍
所以这一次
我要勇敢大声说出来

期待期待你发现我的爱
无所不在我自然而然的关怀
你的存在心灵感应的方向
我一眼就看出来
是因为爱

我猜你早已发现我的爱
绕几个弯靠越近越明白
不要走开
幸福的开始就是放手去爱

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

- 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (New International Version)

Love, to me, is more than just a feeling. It is a commitment to put the other above yourself and to keep no record of the mistakes made along the way. It is a promise to always protect, always trust and always persevere.

Not too long ago, there was a report that the divorce rates here have gone up. A mental calculation brought the number of divorces to 17 per day. 17! Imagine 17 couples a day deciding that their marriage has failed!

If their love for each other was like the above, how is it possible for the marriage to fail? As I took a good look at the above verses and the marriage vows again, I realised that the more daunting of the two is not the vows but the promise and the committment in that one simple word.

I hope that someday when I do walk down the aisle with that special someone, it would be with someone who feels that same as I do towards love and the marriage vows.

I have friends who would not hesitate to lend me a shoulder to lean on when I’m down and never fail to watch out for me.

I have a few wonderful colleagues who would be more than willing to lend me a listening ear whenever the going gets tough.

Thanks guys!

I thought I had found it.